{"id":1705,"date":"2019-07-25T07:54:33","date_gmt":"2019-07-25T07:54:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/?p=1705"},"modified":"2020-06-25T06:11:04","modified_gmt":"2020-06-25T06:11:04","slug":"emotional-blackmail-how-to-defuse-relationship-time-bomb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/emotional-blackmail-how-to-defuse-relationship-time-bomb\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional blackmail: How to defuse relationship time bomb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" title=\"EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL: HOW TO DEFUSE RELATIONSHIP TIME BOMB\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/media\/player\/p9uhq-b9098f?from=usersite&amp;skin=1&amp;share=1&amp;fonts=Helvetica&amp;auto=0&amp;download=1&amp;version=1\" width=\"100%\" height=\"122\" scrolling=\"no\" data-name=\"pb-iframe-player\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Are you a victim of emotional blackmail? Does your love partner use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to manipulate and pressure you into doing things you don\u2019t want to do? Emotional blackmail occurs when your partner or mate uses fear and guilt to force you to do what they want (and what you don\u2019t want).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">In the \u201choneymoon\u201d stage of the relationship, you may find it cute or romantic that your honey wants you to text them throughout the day. But later when you don\u2019t keep it up, they may become angry and use fear (\u201cI\u2019ll leave you\u201d) or guilt (\u201cYou don\u2019t love me anymore\u201d) to control your behavior (texting them constantly).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">If you\u2019re the victim of emotional blackmail, here are some things you can do to regain your integrity and emotional freedom:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>*Recognize that you deserve a respectful \u201cblackmail free relationship.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>Realize that it takes two people to create an emotional blackmail relationship: The abuser and the victim. You can choose not to be the victim by withdrawing your participation in this unhealthy type of relationship. By doing so, you recapture your self-esteem and emotional well-being.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>*Create a contract with yourself<\/strong>. On a piece of paper or on your iPad, tablet, laptop, or phone, write out a \u201cNo Blackmail\u201d contract with yourself. You can write something like \u201cI commit to getting emotional blackmail out of my life and relationships. I won\u2019t let fear or guilt control me anymore.\u201d Read it aloud to yourself every day and incorporate it into your interactions with your mate and the important people in your life.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>*Set Boundaries and keep them.<\/strong>\u00a0A boundary is a set of social rules you maintain for how others should treat you. For example, you won\u2019t tolerate your partner demeaning you in public, calling your derogatory profanities, or being physically abusive. Once you set a boundary, be firm in keeping it\u2014letting your partner know you won\u2019t stand for it when they try to violate it (e.g. Yelling at you in front of other people).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>*Practice saying \u201cNo.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0When you\u2019re by yourself, practice saying \u201cNo.\u201d Say, \u201cNo, I won\u2019t do that,\u201d and \u201cThe answer is \u2018no.\u2019\u201d You can start by saying \u201cno\u201d to small things you don\u2019t want to do; for example, you may not want to see a movie your partner likes. You can say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to see this one; let\u2019s choose a movie we both like.\u201d The more comfortable you get with saying \u201cno\u201d in small things, the more your confidence will increase. You realize that you can be loving and committed in your relationship without having to go along with every single thing your partner wants you to do.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">*<strong>Communicate with \u201cI Feel\u201d statements.\u00a0<\/strong>Instead of using \u201cyou\u201d statements in an accusatory way (\u201cYou\u2019re so controlling\u201d), practice saying what you feel with \u201cI\u201d statements. For example, you can say, \u201cI feel stressed and less loving toward you when you try to make me things I don\u2019t want to do.\u201d Doing this will soften the interaction while getting your feelings across to your partner.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>*Create a safe space to think<\/strong>. When you\u2019re feeling emotional pressure to do what you mate wants you to do, don\u2019t respond immediately. Take some time away from them. Go shopping, work out, take a walk. Let your cooler head prevail as you detach yourself from the situation and ask yourself, \u201cAre they asking me to do something reasonable or unreasonable?\u201d and \u201cDo I really want to do this, or do I feel pressured to give in to keep the peace?\u201d All love partners ask things of each other; the key is whether you feel you have the right to say \u201cyes,\u201d or \u201cno,\u201d and whether your partner respects that. With a clear mind, you can respond in a more intelligent and rational way to what they are asking of you.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>Seek Professional Help:\u00a0<\/strong>Your blackmailing partner may not want therapy if they don\u2019t think they have a problem\u2014they may blame you and say that you are the one who is causing the problem (you\u2019re not doing what they want you to do). If that\u2019s the case, you should seek therapy yourself so you can have the tools to deal with the emotional blackmailer and possibly leave the relationship if it\u2019s the right thing to do.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Everything starts with loving yourself. When you love yourself with self-kindness and self-compassion (not in a selfish or egotistical manner), you have more true love to give to a partner. Loving yourself means that you won\u2019t put up with emotional blackmail, pressure, and abuse. It means that you will treat yourself and your partner with kindness, compassion, and respect as they do the same toward you.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">It\u2019s true: Only a truly respectful and compassionate relationship\u2014both inwardly and outwardly\u2014can give you the satisfaction and joy you seek. Make sure you fulfill your relationship potential and maintain your emotional freedom so you can love more fully.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\ufeff Are you a victim of emotional blackmail? Does your love partner use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to manipulate and pressure you into doing things you don\u2019t want to do?.. <span class=\"read_more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/emotional-blackmail-how-to-defuse-relationship-time-bomb\/\">Read more<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1706,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1705"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2213,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1705\/revisions\/2213"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}