{"id":2088,"date":"2020-03-12T05:31:15","date_gmt":"2020-03-12T05:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/?p=2088"},"modified":"2020-03-12T05:31:15","modified_gmt":"2020-03-12T05:31:15","slug":"codependent-or-caring","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/codependent-or-caring\/","title":{"rendered":"Codependent or caring? how to avoid a relationship catastrophe"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" title=\"CODEPENDENT OR CARING? HOW TO AVOID A RELATIONSHIP CATASTROPHE\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/media\/player\/hshgq-d5ee9c?from=usersite&amp;skin=1&amp;share=1&amp;fonts=Helvetica&amp;auto=0&amp;download=1&amp;version=1\" width=\"100%\" height=\"122\" scrolling=\"no\" data-name=\"pb-iframe-player\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Have you ever found yourself in a codependent relationship\u2014in which you sacrifice yourself for someone who is emotionally immature, addicted, or underachieving?\u00a0\u00a0Codependency goes beyond just caring for someone; it can become an unhealthy relationship pattern in which you give up your own needs to try to fill your partner\u2019s needs (which can\u2019t be met).\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Here are some ways out of a codependent relationship:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>*Establish Boundaries and Practice Direct Communication:\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>Make your partner know that you won\u2019t tolerate substance abuse, addictions, or emotional\/physical abuse in the relationship.\u00a0\u00a0You will not allow your partner to use shame and guilt into pressuring you to do things you don\u2019t want to do (\u201cIf you loved me, you would do this). Also, communicate directly.\u00a0\u00a0Codependent people tend to \u201cbeat around the bush\u201d instead of saying what they really feel (they don\u2019t want their partner to dislike or disapprove of them). When you say what you really think and feel, you are authentic with yourself and your partner, and you feel better as a result.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>*Be Like a Visitor At a Mental Zoo:\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0Recognize that you\u2019re not responsible for your partner\u2019s negative emotional reactions (anger, fear, sadness).\u00a0\u00a0You can be compassionate and empathetic to a point, but you also need to protect yourself from their negativity and attempts to manipulate your feelings. To do this, imagine that you\u2019re a visitor to a zoo, and you see a lion who is roaring.\u00a0\u00a0Instead of feeling fearful, you are relaxed because you know the lion is in its cage, and you are safe. In the same way, when your partner roars at you and tries to intimidate you, visually imagine that there is a solid steel cage that protects their negativity from entering you\u2014you are entirely safe and comfortable.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">*<b>Practice Self-Compassion<\/b>:\u00a0\u00a0Love yourself and you can love others in the right way.\u00a0\u00a0Instead of making your life revolve around your partner, rediscover your passions in life\u2014what makes you happy. Maybe, it\u2019s writing, art, crafts, science, psychology, exercise, travel, caretaking, being with animals or children in nature, a spiritual practice. When you do what you love, you will rejuvenate yourself and recognize that you don\u2019t have to rely on someone else to make you happy\u2014you can find contentment within.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Caring and compassionate people can fall into the trap of being in a codependent relationship in which they try to \u201cchange\u201d or \u201crescue\u201d another person. This usually leads to emotional pain and turmoil because the other person may not want to be rescued, and you waste your time, energy, and spirit trying to change someone else.\u00a0\u00a0The key to having a healthy relationship is to extend loving energy to yourself, directly communicate your needs and desires, and set up psychological boundaries to protect yourself from someone else\u2019s negative energies. When you do these things, you can be caring without being co-dependent; compassionate without being stuck in a bad, emotionally draining relationship. You can be free and loving and the same time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever found yourself in a codependent relationship\u2014in which you sacrifice yourself for someone who is emotionally immature, addicted, or underachieving?\u00a0\u00a0Codependency goes beyond just caring for someone; it can.. <span class=\"read_more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/codependent-or-caring\/\">Read more<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2088"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2088"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2088\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2090,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2088\/revisions\/2090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2088"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2088"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveuniversity.love\/testsite\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2088"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}